Today I missed my first class because I had a major panic attack outside the classroom while I was waiting, because I got there early as I usually do. I talked to my professor after class (I waited for it to be over to talk to her about my anxiety and how it will affect my time in her class) and she is willing to make accommodations for me so that I can have an easy way out of class, by saving me a seat by the door, and letting me do group projects by myself and letting me leave class if I have to. She was so nice and knew just what to say to calm me down, and even took me outside to talk since being in the crowded school building was part of my problem.
Then, when I finished talking to her, Alex messaged me on Facebook (having seen me waiting to talk to our teacher, and probably seeing me shake and cry a lil) asking if I wanted to talk/hang out a little bit between classes. We found a cool nature spot and Alex kept watch while I smoked a cig (tobacco free campus) and we talked and I rambled about plants and then we walked back to where Alex had class and before I left I asked for a hug! Which was cool and felt very safe.
I’m pretty sure I’ve found a friend who I can really rely on to help me get through this school year, as well as have a good connection with and be able to be comfortable around and hang out with outside of school. Someone understanding and kind and yes perfect. Alex is truly a sweetheart and I feel so lucky to be able to talk so openly with someone I don’t know very well!
i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
I think it’s useful, as a famous person, to have as little separation between the perception of you and how you really are - because otherwise I’d be sitting here thinking I’m keeping secrets, and wondering when you’re going to find out.
Having a rough day staying grounded. Please float back into the present, please be here.
it ya girl (ft. boring sense of style)
pre brunch in naptown (at Boatyard Bar & Grill)
~nature is cool~